[Translation: Cattese to English]
Hello! Bruce here. I’m Executive Boss Cat—oops, I mean Senior Kitty Kreative—hmm, nope, not that either; Karen is watching so I had better stick with my actual title—Head Designer/SpokesCat—at Quotable Cats Designs. My job is to bring to you the fabulous fruits of my fertile feline mind, where I collect bits of wisdom and humor about ME (and, I must deign to add, other cats) and, along with my team (see below), I turn them into digital ART. Then we put them into cool products like calendars, note cards, art prints, tee shirts, and other stuff.
So assuming you are eager to hear more about me and how I arrived at this lofty level, here is my story. It’s a good one, if I do say so myself.
I was once in charge of the home of a nice gentleman called Bob, a disabled veteran. Bob and I lived in a lovely ground-floor condo, where I had my own personal entrance. I wore an electronic gizmo that the door recognized, so I could go in and out as I pleased, but other critters couldn’t. The raccoons, possums, skunks and others couldn’t figure it out. They would try to follow me inside, and just as they got to the door, it went BLAM! Right in their faces! What a HOOT it was to go in and out at will, and then just sit and smirk at them through the glass door! (More about this in another blog).
Anyway, the day came when Bob had to move to a place where he could get a little more help, but they wouldn’t let me come along. But his sister Kelli, who is a sweet, generous-hearted soul but very allergic to me and my ilk, knew this lady and her husband across the road—their names are Karen and Larry—that loved cats but had been catless since they lost their Rusty. (Just as well I didn’t have to contend with HER! Her reputation continues to reverberate in this neighborhood even now, as she is, of course, maintaining her feisty vigil from kitty heaven. She would surely have been way too fierce for a gentlecat like me…). Sooo…anyway at about that time, Karen and Larry were just about ready to go down to the SPCA place to adopt another cat, maybe even two, and whattayaknow—I turned up at their house before they ever got out the door. So, just like that, I acquired very comfortable digs and a devoted new staff.
What I didn’t know, nor did anyone else, was that I had latent artistic talent. And being also a bookish sort of cat—I LOVE nothing better than to sit on Karen’s book when she tries to grab little quiet reading time in the morning—actually what I’m really aiming for is her LAP, and so what if she has a book in it! Anyway, I guess the book thing osmosed into me through my skin and fur, because I really enjoy the purr-quisites of the pheline philosopher—that is to say, the privilege of digging up all sorts of clever and pithy observations that people have made throughout centuries of history about the wonderfulness of cats. Karen used to do this all by herself, but it seems a consensus has formed that the quality of the output has significantly improved since I became Head Researcher. (yes, that’s another of the cat-hats I wear).
Karen Olsen (of Karen Olsen Fine Art) is my Chief of Staff—er, I mean, my human “mom”—well, SHE thinks that’s what she is, but we all know how things really are, don’t we. Anyway, she helps me out with my work, as it turns out my hands aren’t really good at pushing computer keys or manipulating mice. Karen says that’s because I have PAWS, not hands, and the paws have CLAWS, not fingers. (Oh hey!—to be sure I DO like mice, especially for a holiday dinner—and yes, another one of my “hats” is Chief Pest Control Supervisor—but the mice that go with those electronic thingies everyone uses these days don’t do much for me.) Anyway, together we create and produce all the stuff we will be offering at Quotable Cats Designs. Keep an eye out for more cat tales at my blog, and do, please, have a look at my inaugural offering below!
QUOTABLE CATS Purrs of Wisdom and Humor Note Cards
8 delightful designs featuring cat wisdom from around the world! In beautiful crystal-clear package, bound with golden thread. Pkg of 8 cards: $25 (plus shipping & handling)